Walk in the Clouds

Flora’s Walk in the Clouds

by Les Allard

My family went to visit Mark and Flora at their house on August 26, 2011; or to visit "Namaw and Papaw" as our 4 year old Lucas would say. The visit was to lend moral support and comfort for our ailing Mom who had been fighting cancer for several years. Our visit was shortened as Mark and Flora decided to head over to Freeman Hospital in Joplin on Saturday August 27,  so that she could hopefully get relief and sleep which had been eluding her. Her breathing had been very laborious due to fluid on the lungs, a condition she had been tolerating for nearly a month. This created much fatigue; hindering her ability to recuperate; simply put it is like drowning on dry ground.  Around 6 A.M. on Sunday, August 28, our one old daughter Lily Maegan awakens, wailing for some reason,  and wakes up Lucas who can typically sleep through a nuclear bomb, though untested. A minute later the house phone rings, and Monica answers. In my mind I find myself saying “oh no” discerning that the caller is Mark and the news isn't good.

That where I am, there you may also be:

Monica, reserving her emotion out of necessity for getting us out the door and on the road, conveyed the message that Flora was indeed passing on. Apparently Flora had felt that she was dying. She and her husband of nearly 40 years was fortunate to have some precious moments to say goodbyes; for Mark to pass assurances and his words of Love to his beloved in her hearing as she began to drift away.

Driving from Kansas to Joplin, I argued with God for taking Flora at this time. During the drive I insisted to God that it didn't HAVE to be her time yet regardless of what it seemed and that there was still yet many things we wanted to do together as a family not forgetting how much of a support structure she has been to my little family. I remember arguing with God that He was taking away my other Mom. When Monica and I arrived with our 2 kids at  7:15 A.M. Flora was still hanging on though nearly unresponsive. Seeing that she was passing on, staff at the hospital got her moved to a private room in a different section of the hospital. I spent much of the time, my feelings withdrawn, focusing on keeping my two kids distracted with looking out the window at medical helicopters and eating snacks. JR and Nancy Boegle along with Terry and Peggy Weidert arrived not long after Flora's move to a different room. They blessed us with their desire to assist with the kids so the rest of us could focus on Flora. Not long after this Jason & Jamie, Flora’s son and daughter-in-law arrived. A little later Beverly McKee & WeJuan, Jamie's mother and Grandmother, arrived. Flora's Dad, Jake, also arrived, and I was honored to greet him with a hug of mourning  in the hallway outside the room and direct him in. Jake’s hug spoke the words “how can my daughter be passing before me.”  

For all that had arrived, Flora's only ability to respond had been limited to slight squeezing of her hand; some movement of her closed eyes; and labored light grunts that were sometimes almost inaudible. While sitting next to her bedside I was heavily grieved at the thought of losing the only one acting as a mother in my life at the time. Monica had urged me to say my goodbyes while she seemed to still be able to hear and understand, but I had not had the strength to and felt ashamed. Several times I had begun to and  felt the words within get swallowed up in my grief. Surely I would miss my chance; where her own children had had strength, I had none.


With her immediate family; her Dad; and honorary "sister" Beverly McKee in the room she seemed to finally be heading onward to her Savior. With seemingly her last efforts, she managed to remove the oxygen hose and motion for the pillows holding her upright to be dismissed. Laying back she was able to stretch her arms way back over her head, curling her fingers back to their full extent and we all braced ourselves for what surely would be her last breaths. Momentarily after that, she brushed away any hands trying to console and comfort her, and then curled up on her side in a fetal position. We felt that surely this was the end of the worldly life for this Daughter, Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Friend, and Child of the Living God.

Come down to the river and pray:

During this time at least 3 churches were praying for Flora right at this time. Family, friends, and acquaintances were praying. The other churches, friends and families that prayed for Flora throughout her time would be tough to count.

What a blessedness what a joy divine:

Then she sat up! To put in context, Flora, after appearing to be taking her last breaths to go be with the Lord, sat up in her bed and leaned back on her own two hands. Her face was peaceful, her eyes mostly closed but seemed to be seeing something unknown to us.

After around 10-15 minutes her eyes opened! She scanned the room, and made an eye to eye connection with each of us. I felt it was God granting her one last coherent 'goodbye' with each of us there, a miracle in and of itself. I was in the middle, and whereas others were vocally saying goodbye or "i love you", I simply mustered up a smile and waved the sign "i love you" with my hand and she tilted her head and smiled in acknowledgement (often we wave this way from our car when leaving their home after a visit); she continued the eye to eye connections until all had been met and then returned to having her eyes closed and still leaning on her hands.
Then, instead of her body giving up her spirit, she remained! But she was unresponsive to our attempts to communicate. But not like she was before when she was only a little better than catatonic. Now she seemed totally somewhere else internally yet very much alive as if in a vivid dream. During this time we saw her turn her head to vistas that we couldn't imagine. Her eyes remained closed but her sight was apparently very open as we could tell by the expressions on her face that she was definitely experiencing something peaceful, something joyful and wonderful. We would note her eyebrows rising at times and a smile grace her face. She would chuckle, yes chuckle at what we could only long to understand. Once she tilted her head back with a pleasant smile, like when you point your face to the sky, feeling a breeze, and soaking in a beautiful place at a beautiful time. How I wondered what it was she was feeling, what breeze or what sunshine; what smells or sounds were touching her senses? Was she leaning back on the sand of some golden shore? How glorious to bask in the light of that place compared to our own yellow sun. At least a couple of times we saw her change positions casually. Once clasping both hands together on one knee, as if lounging on a grassy hill enjoying the afternoon. At one point while trying to speak with her, she even waved her hand with eyes still closed, and we weren't sure to interpret that as a 'good-bye' to us, or her greeting someone she was seeing but remained unknown to us.

Moments later, her eyes opened once again but the look in them was of mission oriented focus and concern. With a voice that only an hour before could barely uttered a grunt, she boldly stated, "I have to go!" As we asked for clarification of where she needed to go, she replied sternly "home." From our earthly point of view, we of course determined she wanted to go to her home in Edna, Kansas. Soon we began to discern that this isn't the home she was referring to.

A Walk in Clouds

Emphatically informing us that she needed to "go" she pushed off her blankets and then proceeded with an attempt to remove her catheter which we were able to convince her needed to stay. With a strength we can only assume was from The Higher Power, she got up and out of bed and headed towards the door. Recall that nearly an hour prior, as we could only assume she was giving up her Spirit for the next Life, that she removed her oxygen hose. She had been simply breathing on her own for this entire time and was continuing to do so as she headed towards the door going out of the room. Jason and Mark walked with her though to manage the cords dangling from her and try to watch out for a loss in strength. Not knowing whether she'd head out into the hallway in her less than flattering hospital gown, as she headed for home, was yet to be seen. We were deer caught in the headlights, astounded that she was up and around on her own steam after so many days resting in bed or the couch, always requiring assistance for any menial task.

But instead of gracing the hallway with her hospital fashion, she took a right turn into her private bathroom. Worried that in her current state that she might lock the door on herself, Jason held the door slightly cracked open. When done she came back to bed, climbed back in, and sat up looking and interacting with us. She explained that her walk to the commode wasn't actually what she was experiencing. Rather, her eyes had seen Jesus, and with clouds all around she was walking towards his outreached arms as He waited in the distance. If she could let go enough from her life she would be gone away. But since we had left the door cracked it apparently caused too much of a connection to her earthly life for her to fully let go. This caused Flora to give a stern look to us saying that we "wouldn't let her go", but she later relented that scolding with a message from Jesus informing her that her time to be with Him was not yet to be; that there was more yet she needed to be doing in her physical life. Telling her that her mission was to be a Living Testimony! Welcome news to her family and friends!
Seeing that she was able to interact with us and respond, though we could still tell that she had an aura about her that wasn't quite "Flora", but perhaps a residual effect of the world she had just experienced. Jason described her as having 'the God eyes' meaning that her countenance was of knowing that all the ideals that we have taken as Faith, she has seen as reality. She recants having seen several loved ones who had passed on before. Among these, her mother Florence Penner who was seen having fun; her father-in-law Denzil McKee who was serious but also silly; Dean McKee who was seen playing in a field with children that were unborn and even had the hillbilly buck-teeth he was known for creating laughs with when still with us. Additionally, Brian Anderson, stricken down by cancer himself, was seen and she reported that "he looked like Brian, and was wearing blue." As noted, she did see Jesus and mentioned that the likeness was like the famous painting "Prince of Peace” by a then 8-year-old Akiane Kramarik. The painting is referenced by the boy described in the book “Heaven is for Real.” At one point Jesus held her hand, and at another point she saw the Book of Life. Though It was not open to her, she was able to know that her four grand-kid's names were written there.  
Flora was able to ask Him regarding her mission of being a Living Testimony, as to whether that meant perhaps writing a book about her experience. He said "No!" but that she should tell others in person. Additionally, she was told that she needed to have the urinary stent removed as it is or would be a hindrance to her faith. She was told to expect resistance from non-believing doctors or others, but that she needed to have it out. Consequently, a few days later, they did have their meeting with the one who would perform the procedure, and he was absolutely responsive to their request and reason for the request! He didn't even need to have new x-rays, and his reaction was such an encouragement.

During the time that she sat up in bed after her experience in Heaven, she was filled with a resolve that surprised us from the usually gentle Flora McKee. The first nurse to walk into the room after Flora had 'returned to us' proceed to per routine ask Flora if there was anything "she needed." Flora responded quite concerned, " I need to know if you know where you're going when you die." The nurse, somewhat taken aback, quickly said "heaven" with some hesitation. Flora in her current state, would require more than that as an answer. She  followed up with, "and what have you done to secure that? This isn't a flippant matter." The nurse was a little shell-shocked and replied, "excuse me, but this is a lot to take in! I mean, I helped carry your nearly lifeless body over to that bed you are in, and now you're up and talking to me." Peggy Weidert, handed her a note with her phone number on it for further questions about what Flora had been proposing to her; and a New Testament was handed to her; one that had been found by another nurse earlier that day.  Realize, that she had just had a near death or ‘at death’ experience, and we were all surprised to see her up and talking regularly and one of the first concerns she has is to isolate a stranger’s relationship to Christ, as to whether that person was Saved or not.

A second nurse fared better against Flora’s questioning. She had been saved as a child and baptized later in life just a week or so before meeting this Flora who, of course, asked her about her salvation.
Other staff came in and out and quite routinely they were brought to the question seat, bringing them to answer the question that must be answered to gain Salvation.

A Living Testimony

After her return to us, Flora has had little slow down in the friends and acquaintances, and medical staff, that she has had opportunity to report her experience to and continue fulfilling God's command that she be a living testimony. Not just a written testimony, or one that is put to song, but a walking and breathing one, that can be asked questions, and interacted with. Being a living testimony means that a skeptic can't simply shut the book; or turn off the message. The skeptic must deal with a Living Testimony in a more personal way, a Living Testimony is able to debate using the tool of experience rather than just argument. And arguing with one's experience with God can yield little to no fruit, for to question the believer's experience means allowing the skeptic's experience to also be questioned.

In the two weeks from her Heaven experience and being returned to us from the brink of death, her story reached out to so many both from her telling those blessed enough to hear in person but even persons who heard the story secondhand. The story even reached Canada!

One day when Heaven was filled with His Praises

On September 12, 2011 at 3:32 A.M. Flora was called up to be with God. Her kids all got to hear her voice on the phone as we were making our way back to her bedside. Her passing was unexpected and through the anger of my disappointment that God’s plan didn’t give her more time to be my Mom,  I realized a truth concerning Flora's being a Living Testimony. Initially in her passing caused me to think that God had gotten it wrong in calling her a Living Testimony since she hadn't stayed with us. We all expected her to go on to be a great missionary in some wild adventure. But then a clarifying of her ‘Living Testimony’ title formed. A Living Testimony isn't necessarily defined as someone alive in the world testifying to Truth, but that one's testimony Lives On past the physical life and breath. Christ certainly became The Living Testimony long after His death, resurrection, and ascension. His testimony thrives some 2,000 years later!  So Flora's testimony will live on, though her Spirit has moved on to beyond the clouds. Flora's testimony is living, and neither death nor doubt will bury it.

As people learned of her passing, of course her two oldest grand-babies were of concern as they had spent the most time with Namaw of the four. Monica and I sat Lucas down on Namaw's hammock, and asked  the question of him, "do you know where Namaw is now?"  Lucas answered very matter of fact, "Heaven." We, being surprised at the quick response that had such certainty then asked him, who told you that and he said "God did" and we asked "when did God tell you?" and he responded "last night" in a way that was simply unarguable.  

After her Heavenly experience, she exhibited new boldness in sharing her Faith. We all should have such resolve! Flora was living those final weeks in the Truth of the Gospel. But now, she literally lives in the Truth! Living in the Truth is an actual place, not just an idea, concept, dogma, or theology. The place shows up on her GPS! Living in the Truth is a place that she breathes in; it is a place she eats. She no longer has to fuss with the likes of nonbelievers, skeptics, or doubters! She doesn't have to theorize. She doesn’t have to speculate. Truth surrounds and embraces Flora with more reality than we can comprehend or ever know; until That Place, until we too, can Live in Truth.

Flora’s other Son,
Les

More of her story is available at floramckee.blogspot.com